Massive Migraine of 8th Grade

I am afraid of headaches.

Sounds eccentric right?

Eccentric but true for me. It's true because of one incident that happened this last year.
Let's name it something... how about the Massive Migraine of 8th Grade. That'll work for now.

So, back to the story.
It was a gloomy, dark, stormy, day with rain smashing against the window and lighting illuminating the sky! Ok it didn't start out like that but good starter though right?

Anyway, so it actually started out as a regular day. I can't remember the day of the week though... feels like a Thursday.. let's make it a Thursday.
So it was a regular Thursday morning, I got up, did my usual morning routine and had an uneventful bike ride to school. Got to school, everything's fine and dandy, first half of first period goes smoothly and towards the end I get a tiny throbbing on the left side of my brain.

Let's pause for a sec.
Now that right there is unusual. I NEVER get headaches, ever. I have, however, faked a few headaches to get out of school of chores (not so goody-2-shoes as you thought eh?) but before this massive migraine, I can't remember ever having a legitimate headache.

Ok, un-pause.
So I just drink some water before the bell rings thinking I'm just dehydrated, but it does absolutely nothing. At that point it's still a tiny throb so I ignore it and start towards second period.

Pause.
This is getting boring, lets skip a good part of second period and go to the end where it starts to get interesting.

Un-pause.
Alright, so the teacher has given us a packet to do about a type of commas. The teacher heads over to my table, sees I haven't done all but one problem on it and starts asking me questions, trying to help me answer the problems. By then the pain in my head is outrageous and it's starting to where I can't think straight so the teacher asking me questions I can't understand doesn't help.

Pause.
I later find out that the teacher was actually worried about me and questioned my other teachers and the nurse as to why I was like that. She didn't do anything in that class when she could obviously see something was wrong with me, but don't worry, cause she was "concerned".

Un-pause.
The bell rings to my unbelievable pleasure, and I stumble into third period, science. I tear everything I would normally need for class out of my backpack, throw it on the table and ask the teacher to go to the nurse. By that point I was holding back tears, so when the teacher said I needed my planner to sign out, I almost screamed at her.

Pause.
I was also told later that this teacher knew something was wrong with me so she let me go even though we had a huge work load that day. To me it didn't seem like she cared at all because when I asked her, she didn't even look up from her desk. Which I was fine with because she would have seen a girl with a face of extreme pain and asked why and I just needed to get out of there.

Un-pause.
I grabbed my planner from my desk, ignoring the questions from the people at my table, practically slammed it on the desk by the teacher, and waited for her to sign it. All the while holding back my tears of course.
 (I have a thing about not crying in front of people)
I grabbed my planner, and took off through the door down the hallway. Now in the hallway, I broke a little and started crying. and stumbling around. When I got too the nurses office I quickly cleared away all evidence of tears and walked in. The nurse came up to me right away and asked why I was there.
By then the pain was to intense that I couldn't remember what a headache was called, what the name of the teacher I came from, or really anything else. The pain was literally blocking out my own thoughts and memories.

Pause.
I found out later that the nurse thought I hit my head on something or something like that because I looked a little mental with cloudy-far away eyes and everything.

Un-pause.
So while I was trying to remember stuff with no luck, Nurse called my mom and I got to go home where i later threw up my breakfast all over my carpet and with it came out most of the pain and the rest reduced to nothing through out the rest of the day.


So now you know why I am afraid of headaches. Ok, now that I'm really thinking about it, it's not really the pain that scares me (which is plenty scary), it's the fact that people where looking at me like I was a completely mental, crazy, mad woman that belongs in an asylum. That scared me because it was my parents and other trusted adults at looked at me like that. Like I was mad. That's scary.

Future Friends

Everyone leaving Middle School says they're scared, frightened, nervous, about the inevitable future that lays ahead - High School.

That is, everyone except me.

At least I thought that was true. Until now.

The thing was I just never really thought about High School. My thoughts seemed to always skim over those four years as just another boundary in my way to the future.
And I'm not even too worried about the academics part of High School, though I'm sure I will be when school starts in the fall, I'm more worried about my friend group.

Someone once told me that you find the closest friends in in High School. I think that that might be true for her, but for everyone, its not. Plenty examples around me tell me that.

Let's do the math.
Over 60% of my Middle School is going to the same High School as me. And 90% of those 60%, have gone to the same schools as me since kindergarten. But let's not forget that kids usually find their friend groups and blend in by the first quarter of the new school year.
That leaves me around 30-40% chance to find new besties to hang with and stay with for the following next four years.

That's not to bad of a chance but we forgot to add a few factors. One big one being reputations.

I have a reputation. Some think it's a bad reputation, others believe the opposite, some just don't care at all.
I have a reputation. It's the Anti-cussing Mormon girl.
I am a Mormon.
Correction, I am LDS, a Latter-Day Saint.
I belong to the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
That's the Mormon girl part, now for the Anti-cussing part.
For that part, we have to go back. Back to fifth grade.
Fifth grade. The grade where every kid thinks he/she is awesome because they aren't in elementary anymore. They're with the big dogs now. Since they're with the big dogs, they get to use big dog language. The language that adults and teens can say but not small children. Cussing. Swearing. Using a foul mouth.
See in the LDS religion, it's not good to swear. So my little fifth grade old self decided to take it upon herself to make the swearing stop. And if the "please stop cussing" didn't work, kicking them in the shins did.
I can't remember the poor little kid whom I first tried the kicking method on but it worked so I kept doing it without thinking about the consequences. One of them being kids stayed away from me because they didn't want to be kicked in the shins.
Of course I had great friends who didn't mind me kicking other people but as time went on, we grew apart.
I've always had friends at school to eat lunch with and spend time together at recess with but the didn't share my standards as an LDS so they never really became close. They were my show friends I guess, we were seen together at school but never anywhere else. And to be honest, I didn't want to be around them, but I had no other friends to turn to so I gave up.
But now I'm back to where I started - almost friendless entering high school.

Then again, what does all this amount up to?
Like I said in the beginning, the future is inevitable, so why spend time ranting about how nervous and scared you are about it, when we should be living in the present.

That's our problem I guess, we humans, we focus on the things we don't know yet and pick them apart with worry when instead, we should rejoice in the things we do know and that are happening this very moment and leave the rest up to Heavenly Father.